I was featured as #17 on the Your Tango Expert’s Blog’s latest feature, 25 Signs You’re Ready For A Relationship.
17. You’re self-confident. Self-confidence is the key to knowing that you’re ready for love (it’s also the most powerful aphrodisiac). When you take pride in yourself and you are clear about your own worth—that is when you’ll be able to attract someone who honors you and himself in a healthy relationship.
You weren’t really trying…but you’re pregnant. And while you’re mostly psyched about the news, you’re a little freaked out too. Okay, a lot.
These are all very real issues that can come up with a surprise pregnancy — check out my advice on how to deal with these issues on The Bump.
Casey Anthony
This is an article from Everyday Health that I was quoted in regarding the Casey Anthony not-guilty murder verdict.
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“It didn’t take long to gauge the public’s stunned and distressed reactions to the not-guilty verdict in the Casey Anthony murder trial — within seconds, Twitter and Facebook erupted with emotionally charged responses that mirrored the shock and dismay of the crowd outside the courtroom. One Everyday Health Twitter follower, @marissa4pw, Tweeted that she was “extremely disappointed.” @jdotreach said, “This is a sick and disappointing ending to the Casey Anthony trial.”
Everyone from Kim Kardashian (whose father defended O.J. Simpson during his 1995 murder trial), Sharon Osbourne, and Joy Behar weighed in, as did many other Everyday Health Twitter followers, who shared their own complicated feelings about Anthony’s acquittal on murder, aggravated manslaughter, and aggravated child abuse charges. (She was found guilty on four misdemeanor counts of supplying false information to law enforcement.)…”
Instead, Bennett suggests concentrating on yourself and your own actions. “We get upset when we feel powerless and like we can’t do anything about a situation. But you can do something about yourself and that’s taking care of yourself and those around you,” she says.
From Dr. Shosh’s blog, Mommy Mental Health on Psychology Today
Why are the parents in mom’s group so competitive?
One of my clients lamented recently, “Dr. Shosh, the moms in my new moms’ group are so competitive! Everyone tries to out do everyone else!” I told her that as far back as I can remember, this dynamic has been occurring. The truth is, usually it’s the least confident of parents who try the hardest to convince others they know the “right” way or they have the “best” item. Keep that in mind if you’re around competitive new parents…
It was such a pleasure to address the CAPPA Conference attendees! They expressed great enthusiasm and appreciation for gaining more insight about recognizing and helping women with perinatal mood and anxiety disorders. I met many wonderful professionals from various fields, and I was deeply impressed with their dedication to the women and families they serve. The atmosphere at this conference was warm, intelligent and open. Congratulations to the organizers of this event!
Here’s the latest book review on our book, Beyond the Blues: Understanding and Treating Prenatal and Postpartum Depression:
“Beyond the Blues: Understanding and Treating Prenatal and Postpartum Depression & Anxiety by Shoshana Bennett, Ph.D. And Pec Indman, Ed.D., MFT is a very good read for such a serious subject that not only teaches other professionals the reasons behind postpartum depression (PPD), but the average person, whether it’s the mother or mother to be or family and friends of the mother. This book will help with the diagnosis as well as the myriad treatments for the different types of postpartum disorders.
While reading this book I was saddened by the lack of understanding that is often surrounding these problems but also hopeful that with reading materials like this, things will get better because they will be better understood. We now know that there is what is called simply the “baby blues,” which is not one of these disorders but simply a mild depression brought on mostly by physical changes in the new mother’s body. Although it should be treated and understood, it should not be mistaken for the more serious disorders that “Beyond the Blues” discusses.
This book set out to help caretakers of new mothers diagnose such problems as well as give several types of solutions for the various types of PPD. It also was written in such a way that the average person can understand what this terrible disease really is and how we might better help our families and friends through these hard times. It does a good job of removing the stigma and shame that has surrounded such problems. Hopefully, this will give pregnant women the courage to let their doctors know what’s going on even if it might feel embarrassing or confusing to the patient herself.
I especially enjoy the fact that the authors wrote several pages of questions the patients might have with answers that would make anyone feel more “normal” rather than the lepers they’ve been made to feel like in the past. One question is “Won’t medication be a crutch?” and the answer is, “A crutch is a temporary tool that you use until you no longer need it. If you broke your foot you wouldn’t think twice about using crutches to support you while your foot heals. Medication restores your brain chemistry to a normal state, allowing you to get back to feeling yourself and back to your life. As you become well, you and your doctor will develop a plan to wean you off the medication…”
From Dr. Shosh’s blog, Mommy Mental Health on Psychology Today
Sharing the work of parenting.
Whenever my clients say things like, “my husband helps me at night with the baby,” or, “I asked my partner to help with the kids or the house,” I always stop them and discuss this point. Are they “helping” you or are they parenting their child/ren and taking care of their home? If we regard the work that’s done by another as “help,” this implies that it is only our job and the other person is just pitching in and assisting. The same women will also lament that their husbands and partners don’t act like parents, but rather babysitters. What moms need to remember is that we can’t have it both ways. If we treat our husbands and partners as only helpers and refer to their actions as such, we’re in fact demoting them from parents to babysitters. So, instead of saying, “my husband/partner helps at night,” try using “my husband/partner and I share the nighttime baby care.”
It’s important to check our own thoughts, perceptions and behavior (including our choice of words) before it can be expected that our partners will change theirs.
This short but information-packed article by Julie Ryan Evans on CafeMom helps mothers focus on their mental health and watch for signs of postpartum mood and anxiety disorders. The most important take home message is that there’s plenty of good help to be found, and it’s crucial for families that moms are happy.
“A few weeks ago, I wrote an article about postpartum depression and some of the serious consequences it can have in its most extreme form. A number of women were concerned there wasn’t a bigger differentiation made between the variations of the disease, which can range from baby blues to postpartum psychosis.
Some feel that including extreme examples of women killing their babies in an article about postpartum depression in general makes women fearful of seeking help for more mild forms of depression and puts a stigma of sorts on anyone who suffers.
In light of those concerns — many of which came from their own personal experiences — I contacted some experts in the field to take a deeper look at the often painful topic that affects women.
Myths:
According to Katherine Stone, founder of Postpartum Progress, there are countless myths and misunderstandings about the disease, including the notion that postpartum depression and baby blues are the same thing…”
From Dr. Shosh’s blog, Mommy Mental Health on Psychology Today
…she is bombarded with people telling her to choose this way or that…
When a new mom fully understands there’s no one “right” way to raise a child, it’s quite empowering. From the numerous ways of becoming a mother – whether she births the baby herself (and how she becomes pregnant), uses a surrogate or adopts, she is faced with strong opinions. From the beginning she is bombarded with people telling her to choose this way or that – how to feed the baby, hold him, help him sleep, dress him, discipline him and socialize him. Others will try to convince her to stay home, work part-time, work full-time or work from home.
It’s important to remember there are many variations that are all “right.” Each family might need a slightly different combination to work smoothly and lovingly. As mothers are increasingly supporting each other in their individual choices, we have happier, healthier families.
Check Your Thyroid!
From Dr. Shosh’s blog, Mommy Mental Health on Psychology Today
An underactive thyroid (hypothyroid) can mimic postpartum depression. An overactive thyroid (hyperthyroid) often looks like anxiety or panic. Therefore many new moms are misdiagnosed with a postpartum mood or anxiety disorder and given inappropriate treatment.
Read the full post on Psychology Today »